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Beginners Anal Sex Guide For Men And Women

Updated: Mar 27, 2022

Now if at any time in your life you have wanted to try anal sex, then buckle up.

After you are done reading this guide you will have the information to enjoy anal sex, and we want you to do it right.

Couple discussing anal sex and being aroused


When it comes to anal sex, make sure that you are ready for it. It’s one thing to see other people doing it, but it’s a different thing to want to try it out yourself.

In this case, preparation is not just for you.

Once you have fully settled for the idea of anal sex, you need to make sure your partner feels the same.

It’s even better when both of you are used to talking openly about your sexual life. Now if your partner is okay with it, you are in luck.

If the answer is no, make sure your partner feels loved and respected either way. You could always use special methods of persuasion but be patient with them always. If the answer is yes, we’ve got you covered on the next step.

It's vital to maintain a line of communication between the two people, and to move at the pace the person being penetrated is comfortable with.

Several great positions are available for beginners to anal sex. Partners who are receiving are usually at their most comfortable laying on their backs, stomachs, or all fours.

Some people feel more in control when they are at the top. It might be physically more difficult for them to relax, but psychologically, they feel more in control.

picture of a luscious behind wearing white panties that say bad ass


Anal being new territory for the both of you, you need to be as patient as you are ambitious. Too much curiosity could hurt. Literally.

There are some facts you need to know about before getting started. The most obvious one being that the anus does not fully get wet on its own.

The second fact being that the anus is made of muscles that need to expand.

Now that should not be a problem for you. Let me tell you how to deal with all that.

You need to make lube your best friend.

Just as I said, the anus does not get fully wet. If you already have lube that works well for you, make sure to get more! Silicone works exceptionally well for anal play due to its silky and long lasting feel. If you use silicone lube with a silicone toy, be aware that not all silicone lubes are safe to use (some are, some aren't). You can find out if the toy is silicone by typing it into Google before squirting lube on it.

The moment you have settled on the lube to use, the other steps keep getting easier.

On your first penetration attempt, depending on what works for you and your partner, options are open.

Remember that the position you are in is going to play a big role with how comfortable you are.

You could go for the doggy style position on your bed, or be on all fours. It makes the anus easier to penetrate.

Now before I explain how to go about insertion, there is the option of sex toys. There are thousands of them in the market. What you need to do, for now, is buy the beginner ones.

Now that you have made your choice on what to start with, let’s go on to the fun part.

Whether you are using your finger(s) or a sex toy, motion is everything. The thorough thrusting you see in porn is not exactly what you are looking for.

After the right amount of lubrication, insert a small portion of your sex toy/finger and pause. The key is to let the anus adjust to it slowly but surely.

While you do this, make sure you keep communicating to your partner. They need to help you understand how everything feels. You also need to keep communicating, and sound as loving as possible.

Since it is something new, they might panic in the middle of it. Avoid that by all means. Get touchy so that they may be turned on.

Make sure to also ask them to control their breathing. It needs to be as steady as possible!

The nerve-dense muscles at the anus' opening should be massaged in circular motions for pleasure and to aid in the muscles opening up to make it easier to get inside if you wish.

You'll be able to tell when your body has relaxed enough to go from external play to internal play. This will be evident by the hole puckering a little. Once you receive this invitation and your partner's green light, slide your finger into the space until the first knuckle is reached.

After your finger(s) or sex toy has settled in the anus for a few seconds, keep going deeper in a slow and steady pace. All while making sure that your partner is comfortable.

After holding for three, two, one seconds, take it out and relubricate if necessary. Try again, going just a bit deeper if your partner allows it.

Observe how the muscles feel and then experiment with different types of touch, asking your partner “How does this feel?“ and “Would you prefer this or that?”. Some people prefer light thrusting, while others like tapping. Those who have a prostate may appreciate you curling your fingers towards them and making a come hither motion. By stimulating the “p-spot” (male g-spot), you can give them a full-body orgasm.

girl bend over on bed with panties on


When you reach the exploration stage of anal, true fun begins! By now you have gotten used to it.

Please note that some people will always take more time than others. As a matter of fact, it has been proven that some people might not have ever done anal but will be comfortable with it immediately. Others might take so long to finally be fully okay with it even with the right training.

In reality, anal sex is oftentimes the preferred method for women who do not have vaginas, for those who have difficult vaginal penetrations, and for those who simply find the experience more pleasurable.

In the exploration stage, everything goes! Here you can now try out as many positions as you want. Some people still like it in the doggy position as was during training, others, however, want to go all crazy with it.

When your anus has fully adopted, as long as you are not in any pain, do whatever makes you feel good. That is what you were working so hard for after all!

As an experiment, you can try this: Adding a vibrator to the clitoris of the receiving partner will make the anal sex experience even more pleasurable. (They might also relax from clitoral stimulation and experience a powerful orgasm.)

Here's something different: double penetration. Having two toys for vaginal and anal penetration, or a penis and a toy in either hole, it's an engaging way to play.

In addition, there is also the possibility of a double anal penetration: i.e., placing a penis and a toy simultaneously in the anus. Start with a small toy and work your way up, or a fist. An average-sized penis and toy will probably fit in the anus if you can fit a fist in it, more or less. Here are some items that may help with your exploration.


Now the reason so many people are afraid of trying out anal is simple, it’s the anus. Now let’s be honest with each other people, muscles are not the first thing that comes to mind when you think about it. Shit is!

Not everyone would want to be engaging in some fun anal only to have their partner run off disgusted. What a turn off that would be!

Not that it’s not possible for some poop to pop out. What you need to do is make sure you have fully relieved yourself. . A great way to clean up your insides before and after play is by performing an enema. You can use a douche to perform this easily and effectively. Afterwards, clean yourself as best as you can and make sure you are fully dried up.

If I’m to be honest with you, which I must be in an anal guide, even after all that, shit could still happen. What you need to do is be grown about it!!

What you need to do is have some towels ready just in case.

If by any chance you see some poop pop out, make your partner understand that it’s okay and perfectly normal!

This way, he/she will not just feel more comfortable around you, it will also make it easier for them to try out new things with you.

5. Double Dipping

There are different bacterial communities in both the vagina and the anus. Even though the bacteria in your anal canal is good for you, if that bacteria is transferred to your vaginal canal, it can cause havoc with the pH. And that causes problems like urinary tract infections, yeast infections, and bacterial vaginosis. The same is true for sex toys. Therefore, before engaging in vaginal play after anal fingering or penetration, have your partner thoroughly wash up themselves as well as any toys during an interval.

a banana with a condom on with safe sex written on it

6. Condoms

During anal sex, the risk of spreading STDs and STIs absolutely exists. This is due to skin-to-skin contact and fluid exchange, as well as the fact that the lining of the anus can be damaged, making it more susceptible to infection during anal sex. You should always apply condoms for anal sex, as well as for any kind of intimacy involving genital fluids.

One reason to wear a condom is that if you're not diligent about your cleaning, you can actually get pregnant from anal sex. Depending on where your partner ejaculates, semen might leak out of the anus and get into the vagina, resulting in pregnancy. Do what you can to eliminate unintended reproductions to prevent STIs and birth defects.

happy couple basking in the joy after enjoying anal sex safely


This final step is just as important as the first. After you are satisfied and your partner feels equally as good, make sure to have “the talk”.

It is here that you will get to understand how it felt for them. Get understand what you could do better next time and what they want to try.

That way, you will be more than ready for the next time you go anal!


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