I remember the first time I heard the word kegel, it was being discussed by a boy I went to school with and his peers - not in an interesting, or educational way but instead in regards to past sexual conquests and their “loose pussies.” Aka my female classmates who dared to have sex, enjoy it and open themselves to the vulnerability of sharing ones body with another.
To those boys - I hope time has made you kinder, more accepting and understanding of the ways women's bodies and pussies work!
So let's chat kegels in a more positive light.
Kegels - are a workout of your pelvic floor muscles, called pubococcygeus muscles, that help to strengthen and tighten the pelvic floor. Pubococcygeus is an absolutely ridiculous word to use in day to day life, but it does help one to understand the different components of your body that are involved. The pubococcygeus or kegel muscles spread across the base of your pelvis (pubo), and connect at both the pubic and buttock bones (coccyx). Kegel exercises are a way to strengthen your internal muscles, but that means that it can be hard to tell if you’re doing them right! Since all the muscles used are internal there is no way to watch your form in the gym mirror for this exercise! I like to think of it as a squeezing of my vaginal canal, almost as though I am trying to pull something in. Two mistakes commonly made during kegels are the clenching of the butt cheeks and/or abdomen - these are things you can use the mirror to help you monitor, as well as a hand on your stomach to feel if instead of pulling inwards with your vagina, you’re simply tightening other muscles.
Signs of a weakened pelvic floor may include things like - leaking a small bit of pee (urine) when you sneeze, laugh or cough - this is nothing to be ashamed of! Women who are pregnant, or have given birth can often have weakened pelvic floors due to the adaptations our amazing bodies make in order to grow and birth healthy babies!
Not only can kegel exercises help with urinary incontinence, but it can also lead to better orgasms and sex! Let's face it - if you’re reading this blog, that's what you came here for! More orgasms & better sex are on my wish list too - so I’ve taken the time to experiment with various ways to exercise my pelvic floor. Both with a sexual health aid and without. Personally I find myself squeezing (pun intended) my kegel exercises into the nooks and crannies of my day. Waiting at a red light. In line at the Costco gas bar. Waiting for something in the microwave.
That being said, there are a multitude of toys, and tools created for this! Calexotics makes some great ones. I have a RAVLOVE set of three, with varying sizes and weights that I like. My personal fav for play are the
I’ve had multiple versions over the years! This particular model simulates a vibrating effect with the weight of the balls rocking inside your vagina. Because they are an affordable option in comparison to some of the higher end models, they can be a ton of fun to wear on dates! Tease your partner by telling them from across the restaurant table that you’re wearing your Gold Vibro Balls and you simply can’t wait to show them when you get home…. or to the car!
Interesting tidbit - men can also exercise their pelvic floor muscles for health and pleasure benefits. Although there are fewer products and conversations that are geared towards men's pelvic floor health, that's no reason to avoid the issue!
Disclaimer - always discuss changes to your pelvic health with your Doctor, and ask if kegel exercises are right for you.
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