Updated: Oct 5, 2022
Blow jobs! What man doesn’t love them? I’ve yet to meet one! As a woman most of us have wondered at some point how our skills measure up. What is it that men enjoy most? Do we need to perform like porn stars to give unforgettable head? I set off in search of that answer and this is what I was told…….
FOREPLAY- While men tend to get turned on quicker that us, it might actually surprise you to hear many men love foreplay to be drawn out longer than most women think they do. There is definitely a time and a place for a quick BJ, and that in itself can be extremely hot, you’ll find if you want to make that smile on his face even bigger and make him blow a bigger load then a slow, teasing buildup is the way to go. Send him a sexy text. Whisper something naughty in his head while you’re out with friends. Get him looking forward to it. You can rub his thigh. Massage him through his pants. Build up that anticipation
TEASE HIM- Kiss him, starting at his lips. Kiss his ears, his neck slowly following that trail downwards. Take your time. When you get lower avoid diving right in. Kiss his thighs. Gently tickle his balls with your fingertips of tongue. Run your nails over his ass cheeks. Make him squirm as you barely touch his penis while working him up by teasing all those other erogenous zones. You’ll have him begging you for more. Gently teasing your man and building up that sexual tension is a must if you want your blow-jobs to go from good to great!
KISSING- Whether you use it as another way to tease him, a way to dial things back if he’s getting close to climaxing and you want to make him wait a bit longer, or as a way to give your jaw a rest if you find it getting sore, kissing is an awesome technique to use. You can give him small quick “pecks” or longer more intense kisses, or extra wet sloppy kisses or a combination of all.
BLOWING- Before you take him in your mouth you can use lots of saliva and lick up and down his shaft then gently blow on the those wet spots you’ve left behind. This will create a cooling sensation that will have him squirming with pleasure and begging you for more.
FLICKING- One of the most sensitive spots on a man is the underside of the tip of the penis which is called the frenulum.* This area is obviously stimulated when licking or sucking but by flicking your tongue over this area you will focus all the stimulation on that very specific point which will cause intense pleasure. It’s a good way to start off before you take his entire dick in your mouth. You can flick your tongue up and down, in circles, or side to side and slowly let your lips creep up over the head of the penis and then back off again.
*Keep in mind if your man has been circumcised there is a chance that his frenulum has been removed
KEEP IT WET- Your mouth may dry out so take breaks if you need. Use your hands, kiss or gently suck on his balls, change positions, whatever you need to do to give yourself a quick rest to build up some more saliva. The wetter the better!!! If your mouth tends to dry out quickly you can try using some mouth watering mints to help. Which can also add a cooling effect. A great option is Ice Breakers!!! Whatever you do just remember there is no such thing as too much saliva when performing fellatio!
USE YOUR TONGUE- Depending on the size of your man, the extent to how much you are able to do this may be limited. If he’s larger in size you may not be able to maneuver your tongue around it and that’s ok. But your tongue is still an important tool. Lick the shaft. Gently lick his balls. Lick the perineum (the area of skin between the testicles and his hole) which feels fantastic when stimulated. All of these can be just as intense as other techniques.
AND THE REST OF YOUR MOUTH- There are many different textures in your mouth. Using different angles will give different sensations to him. There is the roughness of your tongue, the ridges on the roof of your mouth, the smoothness of your cheek, all create dynamic pleasure.
HANDS ON- Use your hands! Stroke the base of his shaft while licking and sucking the tip. Take a break and just use your hands. Gently play with his balls. They aren’t just for decoration like the ones on the Christmas tree! Just make sure that no matter where you are using them that there is lots of saliva to keep your hands gliding smoothly and not rubbing this skin right off! If you’ve got a bad gag reflex your hand can also be used as a barrier to keep him from going deep enough to trigger it. You can also use your finger to provide to tap or put pressure on the perineum. Some men also enjoy having their nipples stimulated and if your partner is one of those men you can always reach up and Use your fingers to stimulate those as well.
TRY DIFFERENT POSITIONS- While many people think giving a BJ consists of a woman on her knees in front of a man this is not the only way to do it so be creative. There is lots of different positions available.
DON’T BE AFRAID TO SUCK-Hard that is! Men often masturbate using their hands which can grip a lot harder than your lips can. If they are accustomed to climaxing with that kind of pressure you don’t need to be afraid to suck a little more forcefully. You can always stop and ask your partner how it feels and adjust accordingly.
KEEP A STEADY RHYTHM-
TAKE HIM TO THE EDGE-and back again. Edging is when you take your partner to the point of orgasm but then stop before they do, rest and repeat. When you finally do let your partner climax the orgasm tends to be way more powerful, full body, even euphoric than if they ejaculate the first time.
STIMULATE THE PROSTATE- While this may be completely taboo for some there are others that will be either curious enough to be open to the idea and some that will already know they how enjoyable it is. A word of advice is make sure that your partner is open to the idea first. DO NOT just surprise him as it may not got over well. If your partner gives you the go ahead this can give the ultimate orgasm to a man. You can use a variety of different toys or even just your finger to stimulate the prostate while you’re sucking him off. There is also the option to do some rimming here if that’s something you are both into as well.
TOYS ARE NOT JUST FOR WOMEN-Sure there are anal beads and other toys to stimulate the prostate but using a vibrator to stimulate the perineum is amazing for men too. You can also place it up against the shaft while stimulating him with your mouth. Get creative!
TEETH- Don’t! Unless you want to ruin an otherwise amazing blowjob that is. The penis is very sensitive. Just imagine if your man was going down on you and decided to scrape his nails or teeth on your clit! It would not be pleasant for you and it’s not going to pleasant for him. While there is going to be a small percentage of men out there that will disagree with this statement, unless your man has communicated to you otherwise it’s best to stay away from this. If your man is well endowed or your mouth is small you can wrap your lips around your teeth so they act as a barrier, or opt to utilize techniques where you don’t have to fully take him in your mouth.
DEEPTHROATING- We have all seen the pornos where they dislocate their jaw like a snake in order to swallow that entire massive penis but I assure you that this is not necessary so don’t stress if your gag reflex won’t let you get him down that far. If you are someone who enjoys doing that or you are indifferent to it but know your partner gets turned on by it then by all means go a "head” but don’t feel pressured to do it because you feel like it’s an essential skill and don’t push yourself into being uncomfortable. You can give amazing fellatio without this technique.
TAKE YOUR TIME- Relax, take your time and enjoy yourself while he does too. Don’t ask him if he’s getting close yet. This will make him feel like your counting down and just waiting for it and he can end up with performance anxiety.
DON’T BE SHY- Making noises and showing your partner or even telling them how much you enjoy pleasing him can be a real turn on. Look up at him and make eye contact once in a while. You’ll be able to see the pleasure in his eyes!
LISTEN -Just like women, your man will tell you one way or another if you’re doing something he loves. He might verbally say it, or maybe it’s changed in his breathing or gasps or moans. Maybe even something else. But if you pay attention you’ll know. You don’t have to specifically ask him for instructions, but if he tells you he likes something then do it. His dick will tell you what feels good. If it jumps and throbs then it’s happy. If it’s leaking pre-cum then it’s very happy.
FOLLOW ALL THE WAY THROUGH-Many women will stop stimulation as soon as their partner starts to cum but don’t do that! Keep going and let him ride the climax all the way through. The penis is hyper sensitive after an orgasm so touching it afterwards will be too much but your partner will usually let you know when they get to this point. If they don’t then just stop after they are done ejaculating, but not before.
And the most important tip of all is to be enthusiastic. If you look like you’re not enjoying yourself and are miserable he’s not going to enjoy himself either. A great blowjob should be fun for both of you. And if you follow some of these techniques you’ll have him begging for more. Now what are you waiting for? Practice makes perfect, especially when you have all the tools you need!!!